Summertime is supposed to be “fun time” for the whole family – but the moment school lets out, divorced or separated parents can find themselves embroiled in new custody conflicts.
Even parents who are normally cooperative during the rest of the year can end up arguing over the kids’ schedules, travel plans, child care and parenting time.
The established routines are all disrupted
The school year creates a framework for an established routine for most of the year. Custody schedules are built around the predictable and stable events tied to school, like drop-offs, pick-ups, extracurriculars and ordinary weekday responsibilities.
Summer tosses that schedule out the window for several months. Parents suddenly need to address things like vacation schedules, summer camps, childcare arrangements, sports and activities, teen work schedules and holiday weekends. Without the consistency of the school calendar, small scheduling disagreements and differing expectations have the potential to spiral out of control.
Parents may compete for limited vacation time
Summer is a big deal for a lot of families. Parents want to spend vacation time with their children and go on trips. There are also family reunions, weddings and other special events that each parent may want to attend on various weekends. Conflicts can start when:
- One parent plans trips or special events without enough notice
- Vacation dates overlap and neither parent wants to give in
- Parents disagree about planned travel destinations, especially internationally
- One parent believes the other is receiving more “fun” parenting time
- Extended family members get involved in scheduling due to summer visits
Summer requires more coordination between parents than many other times of year. When communication is already strained or the parents are harboring resentments that are kept in check only through strict adherence to a custody schedule, that additional coordination can quickly lead to conflict.
The children’s schedules get more complicated as they get older
Sharing custody of a toddler during the summer is vastly different than sharing custody of a teenager (or even a pre-teen) during the summer. The older a child becomes, the more likely they will have schedules of their own to follow. Their summer jobs, social activities, camps and social lives can interfere with parenting time, and the rigid custody schedules of yesteryear can become impractical.
Parents may suddenly find themselves at war over whether or not a child should attend a band camp for four weeks out of the summer, who has to transport the child to their summer football practice and how many hours their teen should be allowed to work. All of those things can interfere with parenting time and create hard feelings if one parent feels like the other is getting more quality time with the child in question.
Advance planning and good communication can resolve a lot of potential disputes before they get started, and parents should remain open to reasonable compromises. Sometimes, however, one parent will repeatedly violate custody orders or disputes over vacation plans will escalate. In those situations, legal guidance can help you find solutions.
